Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
