He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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