These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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