She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
