I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
