I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
