did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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