I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
