apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
