I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
