mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
