I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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