I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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