38 yer olds are good kisserssss
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
