Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
