Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
