yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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