I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
