I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
