SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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