My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
there is puke in my bra ... again
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
