it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
