Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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