dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
