why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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