I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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