Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Use "feeling words"
Yay
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
