Where are you?
In a non slutty way
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
All I want is dick and wine.
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