I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
