Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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