she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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