my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
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