this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
