maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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