Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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