Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
