I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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