im drinking this country out of the recession.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My vagina just recognized that song.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
