In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
