that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
