And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
