how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize
