Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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