im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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