I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
