who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
