margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
