That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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