Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just forgot I was standing up.
Randomize
