Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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