I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
