Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
